When in Doubt
by gythia
Summary: An outtake from Some Say Fire, 2 connected scenes: 1. Loki goes to Jotunheim to conspire with Laufey, 2. Loki returns to Asgard and Odin is mad. Toward the end of scene 2 there is the beginning of a noncon situation pairing Odin/Loki but the scene ends before anything graphic happens.


Outtake 5

Author's note: This is another outtake from Some Say Fire. I took this out of the story because it just is not necessary. The information it contains is also presented in other scenes. I cut this out between the scene in which Loki visits Laufey to solicit her help in his scheme to keep Baldur from being sent back from Hel and the scene in which Hermod, a.k.a. Svipdag, brings back Hela's demands. I swear I don't actually plot my novel by the maxim, "When in doubt, rape Loki." It just sort of happens.

Laufey stood up from her table slowly, "Alright, I am convinced of your blind to get revenge for Helblindi, but first I will heal you. You cannot come to my house in pain and leave without one of my cures. So off with that and let mommy see."

"I told you, it's nothing."

"And I told you let me see." Her hands shook with age as she opened one of the bottles of birch oil she had just processed and filled, an awkward movement with her swollen knuckles.

"Alright," he sighed, pulling off his black tunic, and folding it so the red-orange embroidery at the collar was uppermost as he set it on the table. "Don't be alarmed. And please don't be angry."

Laufey walked around the other side of the table and gasped, "Loki! You said you sit the left hand throne of Asgard. You've been flogged like a thrall!"

"I do. But Odin is the high king."

Laufey dampened a rag with the oil, which smelled strongly camphorous and tree-ish, and proceeded with applying it to her son's injuries. "If you returned to Jotunheim and made a drive for Farbauti's throne, you would never have to suffer such indignities again."

"It's worth it." He could not help but close his eyes in relief at the menthol touch of the birch oil, which left his skin numb a moment later. "I'm a god, mother. I'm immortal, as long as I stay in Asgard and eat the fruit. I have powers like no witch of Jotunheim has ever had. I don't even have to do anything to get magical energy, it just flows. Every time mortals pour a toast to Odin they pour one for me, too. Odin has given me powers you can't even imagine."

"I know what powers he has given you, and how you received them. I am a witch too, you know, and I know full well what the magical lineage passed from Freya to Odin to you means. The nine worlds know Odin is ergi and it doesn't take much imagination—"

"Don't, mother."

"As long as it remains something everyone knows but cannot prove, you can still take your father's throne someday, but have a care that no one ever—"

"I know! Are you done?"

"Here." Laufey capped the bottle and set it beside Loki's tunic. "You can do the rest yourself later. I'm done with the parts that show above your trousers. It's obvious there's more to do. I understand why you don't want to talk about it or show anyone, but I'm your mother. Tell me in confidence, is Odin your lover?"

"Thanks." Loki pulled on his tunic and pocketed the bottle. "Let's go. Remember when the messenger comes to you, you have to stay completely dry-eyed. Not one little tiny tear at all."

"Alright. Have it your way."

When he returned to Asgard over the Rainbow Bridge, it was daylight, barely. The sun was not yet quite peaking over the well-tended gardens, woods, parklands, and grand halls netted into the pathways like shining fish of white marble, silver, and gold. Frigga was still in the field awaiting the return of the messenger sent to Hel, along with most of her demigoddesses-in-waiting and a few other gods and goddesses. Everyone turned and saw Loki stepping off the bridge. He had taken longer to visit Jotunheim than he had intended.

Odin stood at the edge of the field, apart from the others, and his face was grim, but then, it was always grim, and he had just lost two of his sons. Loki hoped the look did not mean that he was concerned about what the goddesses might gossip about and was about to do something about it. Loki stepped off the path and started wading through the grass of the open field, heading anywhere but near Odin. Odin called to him and Loki reluctantly returned to the path. Now everyone was definitely looking at him. Why couldn't he have managed to return before the sky lightened? He should not have waited for Laufey to apply the cure, however much she insisted.

Odin walked up to him and said, "I've been looking for—what's that smell?"

"Nothing?"

"You stink of birch oil."

"I didn't think you'd mind. You were done."

"I was. I wanted you to feel it for a week. If your whole back side is anaesthetized, I will just have to think of something to do with the front half. Come with me." He grabbed Loki's arm and pulled him off to his private quarters. When they got into the room, Odin closed the door and put up his wall of illusion.

"Oh, good, that means we can talk?" Loki asked, starting to tremble a little.

"Did you make the arrangements?"

"Yes. So that was a ruse for the goddesses? You're not actually going to punish me for doing as you told me, are you? Just because of the birch oil?"

"Of course not."

He sighed in relief. "Thank you."

"This is not punishment. It is a diversion for me, to take my mind off my troubles, half of which you caused. Take off your clothes."

He sighed again, hanging his head and arms in defeat for a moment before pulling the tunic off and carefully folding it and starting with the rest. He knew better than to argue, or it really would turn into punishment, and Odin was in a bad enough mood already to be a little frightening. This is what he had chosen, though, by coming back to Asgard. There was no point is second-guessing himself.

Odin went to the wooden chest and began considering various objects and removing the ones that struck his fancy at the moment. Loki noticed that Odin's choices were running heavily to rarely used things that Odin knew Loki really didn't like.

As he waited for whatever Odin was about to do to him, Loki had a sudden desire to be in charge of his own body, immortality or not—to be in charge of everything, a kingdom, a world, the whole universe. Someday he would return to Jotunheim and seek his birthright. Someday he would rule, and when he tired of that, someday, in a red rage and a darkness that would last forever, he would destroy it all.


End file.
